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The Road To Fort Worth

Read » Chapter 8: Danville


It Didn't Make The Daily News, But In The New York Times, The Headline Read

"Did I ever tell you the story about the bullhorn fiasco at Tulane?" George asked Jack.

"No," Jack answered, as he ladled his chili into bowls for supper and handed one to George.

"Crackers?" he asked.

"Yes, please," George answered. He took a bite. "Excellent chili, Jack."

"A few of my friends at the frat house and I were drinking into the wee hours of the morning when we noticed a bullhorn in the corner. The more we looked at it, the more we thought it would be a good idea to take a ride. This is really good chili, but I would have used chunks of sirloin instead of ground beef. What did you use for the sauce, Jack?"

"Tomato soup. It's a really quick recipe."

"So we drove to a residential neighborhood near the university. I don't remember where we were because it was night, and I was, well, pretty far gone. But I do remember the deafening sound of the bullhorn. a foot from my ear. The horn was screaming repeatedly, 'Evacuate the neighborhood immediately. We've been invaded by Martians.' I don't remember who was behind the horn. I do remember that I was laughing so hard that I thought I'd die".

He took another bite of chili. "Fresh tomatoes, sautéed in onions with a hint of Jalapeno pepper would spice it up."

"Continue with the story," Jack said.

Well, we were in the neighborhood for about ten minutes when sirens began sounding. A moment later, we could see a bunch of cop cars through the trees on the next street. We made a u-turn, trying to avoid the cops, and my buddy kept screaming, 'Evacuate, Evacuate' into the bullhorn.

After another bite of chili, he said, "Good Texas chili never uses chili beans."

Jack didn't answer. The only thing the chili recipes had in common was the pan.

"So, the cops caught up with us and hauled us off to jail. When we finally got back to the frat house late in the morning, a few of the boys met us at the door, cheering us on. One of them was holding a copy of the New York Times, and said, 'It's not often that a brother makes headlines in the paper.' I was hoping that my parents wouldn't find out about the incident, but my hopes were dashed after seeing the headline, 'Martian Alert Staged By Tulane Students.'"

After they'd finished supper, George said, "Thank you, Jack. Mighty fine chili.

Copyright ©2012 Michael Jackson Smith


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